Steven Irby

Last week a very crazy thing happened to me. I was walking home from Spanish classes here in Mexico, and I looked up and saw my god damn ex girlfriend standing there. The last girl I dated, who I was with for over six years. There she was standing there with an old friend of mine. My heart literally skipped a beat when I saw her.

I like to embrace confrontation, so I walked right up to speak with them. She was extremely surprised to see me standing there. I tried to be an adult, and make small talk to see how she’s doing. Needless to say, this was a very awkward conversation. I started to ask her if she was on vacation, if she came here a lot, how long was she in town for. The usual small talk kind of conversation. She very hesitantly responded to my questions, and never even asked me anything, let alone why I’m randomly chatting with her in another country.

I then did something crazy, I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch and just catch up. The guy she was with (an old friend before we broke up), immediately said, no that’s not a good idea. I of course ignored him and pressed on. My ex said, no I don’t want to and that’s not a good idea. It was very clear in her body language, tone, and words. She had zero interest in me as a living human being on this earth (her right). So I walked away without saying another word.

My first reaction was anger and frustration. Not because my ex was on vacation with an old friend. Not because, come to find out, on vacation with her new boy friend. My anger was because she could give a damn about me and has zero interest in my life or well being. Because she hated me.

I think she generally does not like or care about me — honestly that’s ok. I think my old friend who stopped talking to me after we broke up, generally does not like me. That is also ok. The truth is, everyone isn’t going to like you. That’s a good thing!

If everyone hates you, don’t you think that’s a bad thing and you’re doing something wrong? I think the same is true if everyone¬†likes you. I believe you’re playing it too safe. It probably means you’re not pushing limits, you’re trying to appeal to everyone, or you’re a push over.

I know I’m a very outspoken-opinionated-polarizing person. I have very firm beliefs about a number of topics and I’m a very liberal person. No doubt lots of folks won’t like me. If you’re truly trying to change the world in a meaningful way, you better get use to it. Damn right people won’t like you. Like many things in life, it’s a balance.